Work

Omg, it’s my very first day of work today!

Just woke up, am preparing for work later. Gotta be at office @ around 12pm.

Ahhh yes I’m running away from reality. So what, I just wanna be myself.

Disappointed

Nothing much for me to say. Am not in the right state of mind. Sorry for the late updates.

First of all

Okay, this is my very first post here. And I’m so new to this WordPress thing that it seems so complicating to me, just like how I felt when I first used LiveJournal. Oh yah, I shifted from Blogger to LiveJournal. And finally I’m here, trying out this “boring” Blog service which almost everyone around were saying.

So right now I’m a long break from my school till mid April. Guess what, I’m actually doing nothing still since the start of the holiday which is the day before Chinese New Year. My grandma passed away few days later after Christmas, so we didn’t get to celebrate CNY for 3 year straight (If I’m not wrong). Everybody’s mood were heavily affected. And my greatest regret this year was that I will never ever be able to take a family shot with my grandma anymore..

Still remember back then during the period from November to December, was busy with some stuffs everyday after school. Then weekend is the only day that I could really rest and relax. So I would always stay out late at night on the weekends, and actually I would went over to my grandma’s place every Sunday. But I neglected her. She would always prepare different varieties of food every single Sunday noon. At that period of time, my mom will be consistently reminding me to visit my grandma, saying that her health is not that good anymore. Even my grandma personally asked my mom whether when will I be going over to her place.  But the selfish me didn’t even bother to visit her at all.

It was fun for me until the 4nd day after Christmas. I remembered exactly that I was wasting my time out for the whole night. I met my friend in Hougang. Then he left for home at 11pm plus. But I didn’t head home after that, because I don’t want to wake my parents up in the middle of the night and let them nag through my ears. So I went to Punggol alone. Found a bench and I lie there, and a lot of things started going through my mind. Was thinking about my studies, family, future, financial stuffs and how am I gonna do about it. I feel so lost at that point of time, I began to cry. That was the only time I really cried out like nobody’s business in the public. Soon I fell asleep. When I woke up, it’s was already 4am plus. I decided to head home and sleep. I went to bed straight away after I got home.

Then I was awaken by a call @ 3pm. My little brother went to answer the call. It was from my dad. He informed us that my grandma was found dead lying on her bed. We are told not to go out. I was really shocked. I can’t stop crying on bed. Images of her began flashing into my mind. I totally regret. No one expected that at all. That was when I realized that it was a grave mistake. I will never ever forgive myself for this. Every Sunday my mom will be telling me how much my grandma wanted to see me & how much she misses me. But I’ve totally neglected her. What’s worse was that nobody knows what time she actually passed away. It was Tuesday when we know about her death, but we deducted that she passed away in her sleep on Sunday morning. Because my eldest uncle was at the hospital at that point of time. So my grandma was alone in the house. But from what we’ve deducted is that on she came back from dialysis on Saturday night, & usually she won’t wash the laundry because she’s tired after the dialysis. Then on Sunday morning she went out at 8-9am to the market and bought the ingredients to cook for lunch. She then went home to prepare for lunch. Halfway through, she feel unwell. So she turned off the gas, and she went to bed and lie down. She was feeling cold. Remember 2 years ago when I was in the holidays, I will stay over at her place for 3-5 days, accompanying her. At night when she’s cold, she would wear socks on bed.

I guessed my grandma don’t wanna leave either. I saw a new pillow that she bought from the market nearby on Saturday. She even clean & tidy up the whole house and changed the sofa sets. Red packets are all prepared with cash inside every single of them. She really want to celebrate CNY with us. It’s really too much of unexpected. Till now I myself still can’t even face the fact that she’s gone, forever..

I shall change the topic for now, else this post’s gonna be a e-mo post.

So, what am I actually doing right now?  I’m waiting for the reply to start work, as a Admin in some high-end furniture company. The pay is not bad, for me as I’m inexperienced in these area. Because my only experience is in the F&B industry. And I wanna be back into the swimming pool, just like 2 years ago when I would swim weekly. I don’t wanna grow fat in this holiday, LOL

& I wanna learn photographic. It seems fun taking those artistic shots. I researched and finally come to a conclusion that..

Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3

PANASONIC LUMIX DMC-LX3 suits me the best! It’s retails @ around SGD700. I love it! Next I wanna get my iPhone 3GS 16GB ASAP. My current phone is spoilt, giving my problems whenever I wanna send a text message or even try calling someone. Damn it.

Alright, guessed I’m gonna end my post here. It’s been a long time ever since I last post a entry. And by the way, this blog was created since January. I didn’t start blogging because I was still exploring the settings & etc in WordPress. 🙂